Along with their super annoying powers comes their super annoying questions and comments
Here is a fun sampler:
- Is the Elf on the Shelf gone for real? (One of the on-site teachers I work with has an elf on the shelf and he moves it around the class during December, which makes all my kids go crazy when they enter the room. I always have music playing when the kids enter and they do steady beat activities to it in SILENT mode.....except in December because they are looking for that blasted elf). Class enters every week pointing out that the elf is now under a guitar or hanging in the window, followed by this question:
"Mrs. J., Is the elf real?"
Me: "Yes."
I had one student who cried when he saw the elf. He said it kept looking at him and his eyes were following him around the room. Pretty soon he'll be telling people that a hamster told him to shoot people at Hardy's.
- Can we play that spinning game? I ask what spinning game, knowing full well it's the dreydl game and no, we can't play it because it's JaFebruamarch., and Hannukah was three years ago. Students:" Three years ago? " Me: "Yes. Time flies, doesn't it?"
- I sang a very complicated song to my first graders. The lyrics are: I have lost my closet key, in my lady's garden. That phrase is repeated again. End of song
and hands shoot up all at once. Answer: Toilet. I put on a dvd.
- "Boys and girls, The Syncopated Clock was written in 1945 (pause for audible gasps because life as we know it could not possibly have existed that long ago), way before cell phones were invented. What do you think made that sound in the middle section?
Answer one: cell phone.
Me: "Well, not a cell phone. I know cell phones make that kind of sound, but remember I said that this piece was written in 1945." Another round of gasps of disbelief from the students who weren't listening the first time (most of class).
Answer two: iPhone. (In case you're not familiar with the piece, it's an alarm clock)
- I show the students my glockenspiel and hold it vertically, point to the low bars (which are large) and run my finger up the bars to the top bars (which are smaller). Then I ask,
"What can you tell me about the size of the bars when I go from low (point again) to high (point again).
Answer one: " Low. "
Me: "That is not an answer that relates to size."
Answer two: " High."
Me: "No, that is not an answer that relates to size."
Answer three: "Low and high."
Me: "No. Those are not answers that relate to size no matter what order you say them in. I am asking about the size of the bars. High and/or low are not words that describe a size."
Answer four: "Up."
Me: "Look at the SIZE of each of these pretty, shiny bars. Are some larger than others? Class nods. "Are some smaller than the others? Class nods. "Now look at these pretty, shiny bars one more time. See the top pretty, shiny bar? Now look at the bottom pretty, shiny bar. When I play the pretty, shiny bars from the bottom to the top, or low to high, do they get larger or smaller?"
Final answer: "Higher."
My final question, "What time is this class over?"
- My favorite answers are when I ask if someone knows the meaning of a particular word. Typical response:
For some reason, rhyming words or similar sounding words are considered suitable definitions."Boys and girls, who can tell me what the word 'foil' means?"
Answer one: "Spoil."
Me: "Um, spoil is a rhyming word, not a synonym.
Answer two: "Tin foil." Me;. "Um, no. First of all, it's actually aluminum foil. They haven't made it from tin since, well, for a long time." I didn't want to say 1910 because if 1945 seemed implausible, than 1910 would be incredibly crazy. ) Did you really think about the context of the sentence and how the word foil is used? (We had been learning an old camp ditty about the mean villain who is trying to get rent from the damsel in distress. The hero offers to pay the rent and the last line from the villian is "Curses, foiled again." ) Did you think the hero was going to pay off the villain using tin foil?" Blank stares followed by
Answer three: "Fort." Me: "Hunh?" Or this one:
"Boys and girls. Who can tell me another word for Coda (ending) ?
Answer "Cold."
- Here's what happens when I go for that higher order thinking skills. Marzano would be apoplectic.
Me: " Students, I saw that you were able to anticipate the movements we were doing. Can you tell me how you knew what to do?
Answers: "Beat." " Rhythm". "Pitches."
Me: "I do not want one word answers. I have lost my ability to read minds and have no idea what you mean."
Round two answers; There is beat. High and low. There is rhythm.
Me: "Did you notice any patterns in the music that might have helped us?" Class nods. "Can you tell me how patterns can helped us anticipate the movements we were doing?"
Third round of answers: There was some beats and patterens (sic). Me: "Let's move on."
Yes. Let's move on.
Just when you think it can't be any worse, I had this super fun exchange last week. Here's the the context: I was going to play a Japanese game so I thought I'd show the class a power point I had made called Japan and China: They are not the same country. While looking at the Ring of Fire on the map, I got a little off topic and they wanted to know more about tsunamis. They asked to see a video and I explained it might be difficult to take your iPhone and film a tsunami since it's a fairly large wave. I found a youtube video that showed one far in the distance. Then we got off topic again and talked about the San Andreas fault I showed them a photo.
Student: Is that a tsunami?
Me: No. It's an artichoke dip.
