My birthday is This Month and Other Non-Sequitors

Random thoughts.  It's testing week at one of my schools.  I have to teach my music classes and not make any noise.  Seems like a reasonable request.  38 six year olds in my tiny hamster cage sized room sitting in total silence for 45 minutes.   There isn't nuch in my rom except a wonderful set of Orff instruments that the onsite teacher doesn't use because she does QUAVER all the time. ( I am going to resist the opportunity to fulminate about that idiotiic,  hypercaphenated, annoying Brit who has  developed a cartoon-based  instructional music program)   My xylophones look so sad; I think they know they can't be manhandled today.  Or maybe they're just relived that no one will dig mallets in between the bars or lean their entire body strength on top of the bars and bend the pins.

Because the entire building had testing going on, I couldn't even roll into the classrooms and do the fun, but noisy, Halloween activities I always do  (don't worry.  I always check to make sure that I donb't have any religious objections.  If I do, I call it a fun fall activity)  I'm bored.  I can only watch Peter and the Wolf so many times, eveb if I rotate all six versions.  To combat my boredom and fill the FOUR  second voids in between telling my students to BE QUIET I thought Id jot down some of the things that make my job so rewarding.

1.  Every week one of my principals sends out at least 3 emails like these

Greetings:
Please keep Mr. Roberts and his family in your thoughts and prayers.  His uncle was funeralized (sic) on yesterday (sic again)

Greetings,

Please keep Mrs. Russell and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Mrs. Russell recently lost a cousin. We ask you keep her lifted at this time.  

This has inspired the poet in me (please sing it to the tune of 99 Bottles of Beer, and better still, drink all of them bottles.)

99 people have died on her watch

99 people in all

Turn around

One more in the ground

99 people have died on her watch

2.  Got this gem of an announcement today

.....School Fine Arts Program presents…. THE WIZ’LAKE!!   
 Really?  Wiz Lake? (The two exclamations points came with the message. )  Did the Swans pee into the lake?  

3.  Last week I was reading a book to kindergarten called Noises.  Three pages into the story a hand goes up.  I say, "Is this a question about something in the story you don't understand or do you just want to share?"  Stupid me.  I forgot you can't ask kindergarten children a compound question.  Child says, "It's a question."  I signed and asked her the question. "My birthday is next month."

4.  Why my job is so fulfilling

Future refrigerator repairman who apparently doesn't like my class

Class must have been too strenuous

I think I'll just sit this one out

Inspecting the carpet for unknown reasons

Mork from Ork joins the class

5.  Its time to start drinking heavily while operating heavy machinery,

Whad I do? and I Dint Do Nothing

Since this is a blog about teaching music I have refrained from posting about anything political. I couldn't help myself today. Teachers are trying to help students make connections about what they're learning to real world applications.  Here's my connection.

Whenever I discipline a student, I can usually count on one of four responses: 1.  a shrug with arms held out and an open mouth  2. "I dint do nothing " 3. "Whad I do?"  4." But ______ (insert another student's name) did it, too."  My answers: 1. Close your mouth please and use some words.  My mind reading abilities, like my cell phone, don't work inside the building. 2.  Use correct grammar please   It's I didn't do anything.  And yes, you DID do something. .3. If you don't know what you did, please go to time out until you can figure it out.  4. Yes, it's true, ____ (insert another student's name)  was doing it, too.  But if you and a buddy rob a bank  and only you get caught, do you think you will not be convicted because your buddy didn't get caught?  Go to timeout please and you can take ____ (insert another student's name)  with you.  I hope _____  (insert  other student's name who is now visibly angry) is happy that you tattled on him. 

These are the responses I get from students ranging from 5 to 9 years old.  Here's the thing-- all of those responses are remarkably similar to the way Trump and his supporters responded to the newly leaked video of his (no shock here)  hot mic comments about women.  He and the people that support him are clearly not even as smart as my fifth graders.  And many of my fifth graders read at or below a third grade level.


sigh.