Teaching on the Dark Side of the Moon. Experiences in the world of elementary music education: My birthday is This Month and Other Non-Sequitors

Random thoughts. It's testing week at one of my schools. I have to teach my music classes and not make any noise. Seems like a reasonable request. 38 six year olds in my tiny hamster cage sized room sitting in total silence for 45 minutes. There isn't nuch in my rom except a wonderful set of Orff instruments that the onsite teacher doesn't use because she does QUAVER all the time. ( I am going to resist the opportunity to fulminate about that idiotiic, hypercaphenated, annoying Brit who has developed a cartoon-based instructional music program) My xylophones look so sad; I think they know they can't be manhandled today. Or maybe they're just relived that no one will dig mallets in between the bars or lean their entire body strength on top of the bars and bend the pins.

Because the entire building had testing going on, I couldn't even roll into the classrooms and do the fun, but noisy, Halloween activities I always do (don't worry. I always check to make sure that I donb't have any religious objections. If I do, I call it a fun fall activity) I'm bored. I can only watch Peter and the Wolf so many times, eveb if I rotate all six versions. To combat my boredom and fill the FOUR second voids in between telling my students to BE QUIET I thought Id jot down some of the things that make my job so rewarding.

1. Every week one of my principals sends out at least 3 emails like these

Greetings:
Please keep Mr. Roberts and his family in your thoughts and prayers. His uncle was funeralized (sic) on yesterday (sic again)

Greetings,

Please keep Mrs. Russell and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Mrs. Russell recently lost a cousin. We ask you keep her lifted at this time.

This has inspired the poet in me (please sing it to the tune of 99 Bottles of Beer, and better still, drink all of them bottles.)

99 people have died on her watch

99 people in all

Turn around

One more in the ground

99 people have died on her watch

2. Got this gem of an announcement today

.....School Fine Arts Program presents…. THE WIZ’LAKE!!
Really? Wiz Lake? (The two exclamations points came with the message. ) Did the Swans pee into the lake?

3. Last week I was reading a book to kindergarten called Noises. Three pages into the story a hand goes up. I say, "Is this a question about something in the story you don't understand or do you just want to share?" Stupid me. I forgot you can't ask kindergarten children a compound question. Child says, "It's a question." I signed and asked her the question. "My birthday is next month."

4. Why my job is so fulfilling