I spent this week observing some music teachers because work days no longer mean that you can get any work done. Now we have people in charge of making sure our work days are taken up with fun-filled activities that will make us grow and soar like an eagle. Well, this week my schools all had their own work days so the people that dream up fun things for us to do told us to observe other teachers. I chose a teacher based on how close the school was to my house. This year my decisions have all been based on best practices.
The first teacher I went to see teaches in what I can only describe as a war-torn combat zone full of varying sizes of warriors in search of Ritalin and/or Agent Orange. When I came in, the teacher was saying words, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out who was listening to those words. They seemed like important words She had an important look on her face. But then again she was trying to communicate with beings who have emerged from something out of Stephen Hawking's imagination. This was a fourth grade class and they made me feel like I was in the middle of a scene from a bad movie about substitute teachers. They were screaming and throwing bits of scrap paper and standing on chairs and howling at some celestial body. Two of them were paying attention, I think. I say this because they were sitting on the carpet near the teacher and were quiet. But they might have been catatonic. It was hard to tell. Maybe third grade would be better.
The third grade came in doing several versions of the Monty Python Silly Walk Contest. Many were poking and jabbing each other Several were yelling "Shut up." and "No, You shut up," in what seemed like a very productive argument. Future debaters I said to myself.. The teacher gave the class a point for entering quietly and, while I was dumbfounded that the class received a point, I was more curious what the point was for. I never did find out But then again, the class never received another point. Maybe it was a get out of jail free card. First grade was next. Maybe they'd be better?
No. First grade was not better. They were smaller but were practicing the behaviors I saw in the older grades. They were already quite good at this. I videoed several first graders doing imitations of rolling pins who were, I assume, trying to flatten out the floor. I don't know. After they got bored rolling around they started the usual game of poke your buddy until someone gets angry. And sure enough, one little first grade boy got angry when a girl slapped his face somewhat playfully, but apparently the boy didn't seem to like it very much, and when I saw the familiar huff and puff face I knew something bad would happen, so I got up and separated the future pugilists. No sooner did I do that than the rolling pin boys started to punch each other. The teacher came over to help me break up the fight. No buzzer was pushed. No administrator called. This was just another day in the Land of Chaos.
On top of all this fun, I had to fill out this observation form. I don't know who is responsible for designing this form, but it's really quite awful. First of all some of the questions are meant for self-reflection and since I'm the observer, they don't apply. Secondly, the questions have answers that are self-evident and only someone who just stepped into the classroom might, maybe, possibly, find them useful, although I doubt it. I'm guessing it was written by the same committee who dreams up fun things to do on work days instead of allowing us to do some work. I'm pretty sure no one read my comments because I'm still employed. But then again, I'm giving up a work day to not get any work done so I feel justified.
