Today we had a run-through for our holiday program.  It was a clusterf**k of notes, voices and attitude.  Half of the 5th graders stood with their arms folded glaring at me or dust motes--couldn't tell which--as if I'd asked them to get a rectal exam.  They still don't know all the words to Deck the Hall and half of those words are fa la la.

4th grade sang 1/7th of Silent Night
.

3rd graders couldn't make a double circle even though each class has done it a bazillion times.  Finally gave up trying to have each class do a double circle individually and combined them into one giant paramecium-shaped blob that might be considered  a circle if viewed from Pluto. Still have some directionally challenged children walking in the wrong direction and causing multi-car collisions 

2nd grade actually did a good job.  They played the instruments better than the 5th graders and knew all the words. Granted, the Dreydl song has few words, but they knew them.  As did 1st  grade.  They knew it better than I did--"Noooo, Ms Jove.  It starts with up on the rooftop."  I sing it and then, "Noooo Ms. Jove.  It's DOWN from the chimney."  I start over again.   I say old Saint Nick and again, a chorus of, "Nooo Ms. Jove.  It's GOOD Saint Nick."  I try once more and a small voice pipes up emphatically, "Ms Jove you are still not singing it the right way."  I bring her to the front and tell her to lead the group.  She does a great job.  I hire her.  She will stand with me tomorrow to make sure I don't forget the words..

Kindergarten are singing bits and pieces of words that they remember from All I want for Christmas. Picture ADD frogs waving their stenciled smiles on popsicle sticks that the kindergarten teachers forgot to send them with, and then handed the specialists the bags to disseminate to the mass of wiggling children.  They were upset because we weren't giving them the right ones even though they were all EXACTLY the same except for their names scrawled on the back.  We told them not to worry about it and that they'd have the right ones tomorrow.  They worried.

At least 10% of each grade level sent to time out areas in gym. Three sent to the opportunity room.  One fist fight.  And a partridge in a pear tree.  I am not drinking anything that's not 90 proof tonight.

They say that a bad dress rehearsal foretells a good opening night.  I am willing to bet I prove this wrong.